Tobold's Blog
Sunday, October 15, 2023
 
Virtual Girlfriends

Among various other recent business ventures using AI, there are several which turn an AI chatbot into a virtual girlfriend, like Kupid.ai or Replika. Replika removed NSFW features in February this year, then partially backpedalled that decision in August. Kupid.ai is less conflicted and will happily sell you the option of your virtual girlfriend sending you nude photos. But these are just examples among many others. It is easy to treat that subject as something of a joke, especially if you are in a stable relationship yourself. But the trend for this sort of application is not just a sign of technical possibilities evolving, but also one of demand for it. The question of why anybody would want a virtual girlfriend is easily answered by them not having a real one. And that is an increasing problem.

The Surgeon General of the USA this year raised an alarm about the loneliness epidemic. That seems to be particularly a problem of young men, of which 63 percent in the USA are now single, much more than in previous generations. That leads to a sort of chicken and egg problem: Are young men using virtual girlfriends and porn because they are single, or are they single because they use virtual girlfriends and porn? To some degree it is probably both of that. But there is some indication that the virtual girlfriends are a symptom, rather than the source of the problem.

Surveys have found that of all the generations still around, Gen Z is the most risk averse. That shows up rather strongly in various statistics, for example they drink 20% less alcohol than millenials. But a serious relationship is a huge risk, especially if it involves having kids. Between overblown fears that every man is a rapist, generational risk awareness, and some very real economic problems and uncertainty, a decline in stable relationships is inevitable. That is not just a handful of radical Incels online, but growing to be a mass phenomenon, with a host of related negative consequences from falling birthrates to rising suicide rates.

Back in 1966 the first chatbot ever led to the discovery of the ELIZA effect, the tendency to project human traits onto a chatbot. That opens up an interesting possibility: If a real girlfriend is unobtainable, isn't it possible that a virtual girlfriend is at least better than no girlfriend at all? If loneliness is subjective, and a virtual girlfriend makes a young man feel less lonely, isn't that a good thing? It obviously won't solve the birthrate problem, but if it could decrease suicide rates, that would already be something. That also explains the strange dichotomy of Replika, which doesn't appear to be sure whether they are offering virtual girl/boy-friends or are a mental health app.

One thing that is certain is that over the coming years all of us we be talking more and more to AI chatbots. The people who chatted to ELIZA were found to have both an unconscious emotional attachment, and a conscious knowledge that this wasn't a real person. I believe that this cognitive dissonance will continue. Thus it is unlikely that virtual girlfriends will drastically reduce the interest in real relationships. Like every technology there will be anecdotal stories of addiction, but I believe that virtual girlfriends are a symptom and possible crutch/partial solution to the loneliness epidemic, not its cause or aggravating factor.

Comments:
Tobold: "If loneliness is subjective, and a virtual girlfriend makes a young man feel less lonely, isn't that a good thing?"

The question is if feeling less lonely is the goal or being in a relationship is.
An AI chatbot can set a certain expectation similar to porn that then acts as an easily accessible local optimum and prevents a better optimum that would require more effort.

I think the main issue for loneliness is decision paralysis. There are so many options of people you can date that you either don't make a decision or you don't fully commit as a better option could just be around the corner and if things don't go as expected, you can go back to your chatbot.
 
Is there not enough availability to chat with other humans? I had thought not. I'm inclined to believe that virtual companions will lead to more commitment/risk aversion. That and unrealistic expectations of what a human companion should look or act like. Further, a relationship with another human can benefit both persons involved.
 
So I wonder if there is any correlation between the figures you linked and the fact that the majority of the country feels like the economy is bad, despite the traditional figures that we use to measure the economy all saying its doing just fine.

I know right now the last thing I would do is have a kid because of how expensive raising a child is. And I'm not alone in that thinking as I believe birth rates have been dropping for millenials.

With everyone in their own little social media bubbles making friends and meeting people is hard. If you aren't conventionally good looking as a man stuff like tinder is basically just throwing darts at a board. Now add WFH into the mix and you aren't even seeing people at work either. I can definitely see how some folks might end up living more lonely lives then before.

Even looking at the gaming world I made some real friends through games like World of Warcraft. Friends I still keep in touch with. In games today everyone's on Discord in their little friend groups. Matchmaking has removed the need to connect or get to know people so you just don't now.
 
Are falling birthrates a problem or a natural self-regulatory response to an overcrowded ecosystem?

As for virtual girlfriends, I'll pass on those but I really wish they'd get on with mass-market AI toys and pets. I'd love to be able to chat with a talking robot while I make lunch or do the washing-up. It'd be a lot more fun than listening to the radio.
 
I would be surprised if all those smart speakers wouldn't get AI chat bots in the coming years. The hardware is already in our houses.
 
@Bigeye "despite the traditional figures that we use to measure the economy all saying its doing just fine"

I think that the traditional figures that we use to measure the economy aren't very good at predicting economic sentiment. For example take a combination of decent GDP growth and high inflation: If inflation is mostly companies increasing prices to increase profits, while wages are not keeping up with inflation, the average consumer will suffer a loss of purchasing power, will be objectively poorer, and probably rather unhappy. If inflation was mostly due to wages rising faster than inflation, while profits grew slower, people would be a lot happier with the same basic GDP and inflation numbers.
 
@Bhagpuss and Tobold
Amazon already announced AI enhancements for Alexa.
 
This isn't just a problem in the US. The problem is much further along in China (for obvious demographic reasons) and Japan.

I will also say that COVID-19 seems to have done a real number on the kids entering college right now. That plus growing up with a cell phone and social media means the psychosocial developmental landscape they have navigated on the way to young adulthood is nearly utterly alien to us older folks. I mean we are in it now, but we have no idea what it would be like to grow up in all that.

We won't really know how that turned out for about ten years, but I tend to think humans are pretty resilient. A lifestyle centered around agriculture was utterly alien 10,000 years ago, and that went ok.
 
Very true.
 
Covid seriously stunted 2 years of learning for an entire generation of students here in the US and the effects are just being felt now. Younger students during Covid are so far behind now in all measurable aspects that it's scary. The US education system was completely unprepared and unable to do distanced learning effectively.
 
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